How Do You Stop Being a Control Freak on Your Big Day?

I am just about 15 months away from my wedding and I feel like we have 3 months before we’re really on the real count-down clock for our big day. But apparently, my mind is already in overdrive about it. I have been having dreams, nay – nightmares, about our big day about once a week for the past several weeks.

Alexa Prisco, The Glam Fairy

One that is particularly impactful has been one involving Alexa Prisco from the show Jerseylicious. Though in reality she is a make-up artist, I dreampt that she was my wedding planner as well. The day of my wedding she didn’t get in touch with me and I was late – so late that I didn’t get a chance to shower. I changed my clothes and was rushed into my dress. Someone was doing my hair as Alexa started my make-up. She covered me with this towel so nothing would get on my dress, but apparently someone had previously used it to blot red lipstick, which got ALL over my gown.

Clearly, I flipped out at Alexa who half-assedly attempted to get the stain out, and quit trying halfway through. I was still upset and was freaking out at her while people were helping me try to hide the stain. I think I was yelling at her to leave, and then I remembered that I didn’t have ANY PLAN for ceremony music at all. Then I woke up.

Bizarre, yes, but it also worries me that even with my over-zealous preperations WAY ahead of time that I’m still going to have some freak out moments. I am a self-proclaimed control freak and I know I need to let go on my wedding day, but how? How can you relax on the biggest day of your life?

A friend who got married recently may have trashed her dress walking on the beach and in the water on her wedding day. I praised her for her strength and said that I could never be so carefree. She said that she wanted to enjoy every moment and didn’t want to hold back. I would very much like to be like her. What tips do you have for calming down and letting yourself enjoy the pace of your big day?

Thanks for reading! – A

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February 9, 2011. Tags: , , . 2011. 1 comment.

10 Wedding Gowns You Won’t See Me Wear

There is a gown I’ve been obsessed with. Many people have heard me talk about this dress, a gown that seems so beautiful I am willing to brave the terrible service and sales pressure at David’s Bridal to get it. The gown is part of a collection designed by Vera Wang called White and will be released in early February. Though I can’t really purchase anything until July (at the earliest) because of the surgery, I can keep an eye out for something I want, and I just can’t stop thinking about this dress. I think if it looks as good in person as it does in the photos, it’s going to be the measuring stick for all others I might try on.

However, these dresses will not make the cut. I thought you would appreciate seeing some of the monstrosities that I’ve come across while googling wedding gowns.

 

This gem was worn by a 16 year old bride, which should account for the lack of taste. It was reportedly made with 30 layers of material, including a 15 foot train, metal hoops and 3,000 Swarovski crystals. This resulted in the dress weighing over 350 pounds, the size 4 bride needed to be pushed down the aisle by 10 guests and spent the night sitting. Sounds like she had a blast.

 

Business in the front, party in the back. This Russian bride is really not helping the generalizations that eastern European gals have a different view on what is appropriate when choosing clothing. But really, look how warm it seems in this picture. With her hot Russian blood that can keep her warm in sub-zero temperatures, this dress was a necessity on a sunny 76′ day!

 

I understand that wedding gowns are supposed to be virtuous and pure, or at least they used to. But there’s something about a crocheted condom that really hammers this idea home. Hope her lucky groom has the keys to her chastity belt! What makes me most sad is that this dress is designed by YSL and they can do so much better. I feel like the mom of an A student who brought home a D. Tsk, tsk Yves St Laurent!

 

According to wikipedia, a “chuppah (Hebrew: חוּפָּה‎, pl. חוּפּוֹת, chuppot, literally, “canopy” or “covering”), also huppah, chupah, or chuppa, is a canopy under which a Jewish couple stand during their wedding ceremony”. I have been knocking myself out trying to find ways to make one for our wedding, or rent one at a reasonable price. Who knew, all I needed to do was get a gown with one built in? Mazle tov!

 

Sometimes I struggle with the classic bride versus sexy bride look. Then I see pictures like this and I find myself leaning more toward the classic side of things. I’ll bet Janet Jackson was really happy to see that she wasn’t the only one who had such a terrible wardrobe malfunction that year.

 

When Charo got married, I’ll bet this is what she wore. Guess Jersey has a little latin flavor in the water. Cuchi-chuchi!

 

You light up my life. And your dress reminds me of that eerie glow given off by bug zappers. This past Christmas we had an ugly holiday sweater party, and our sweaters lit up. Funny, yes. Something you want to remember forever while wearing the most important garment you’ll ever own? Not so much.

 

 

God bless the USA! I am all for being patriotic, and I even appreciate the effort that goes into a theme wedding. But perhaps this is a little over the edge? I mean, we’re past being American and we’re into the Blue Collar Comedy Tour “Uhmurrican” with this one.

 

This ensemble reminds me of Glinda the Good Witch of the North from the “Wizard of Oz”.  Unfortunately, this is not a stage production, it’s your wedding.

 

Whenever I walk through the mall and pass the airbrush kiosk, I think to myself, “Sure, a novelty sweatshirt or license plate might be cute.” Clearly I am not thinking as out-of-the-box as I could. And here I am, thinking satin and pearls is the way to go.

 

Needless to say, I won’t be posting pics of my gown until after the big day but cross your fingers that I look as special as these ladies!

Thanks for reading. – A

January 28, 2011. Tags: . 2011. Leave a comment.

Body v. Mind: 80 Pounds in 180 Days

Saturday was the official six-month mark since I had a gastric bypass (GBP) surgery with Dr. John Meilhan at Temple University. As I mentioned in earlier posts, when I reach 100 pounds of weight loss, I’ll let you know where I started out but for now I can say that I’ve lost 80 pounds. 80 pounds. Did I type that? Moreover, did I DO that? I know this process hasn’t been a walk in the park (I know this) but I feel like, other than some dietary changes, my life hasn’t changed a lot. I haven’t changed too much in the way of regular exercise because it’s something I already had in my life. I haven’t had to change my lifestyle. And clearly, my perception of my body hasn’t changed.

I look at my new body, the one that went from a size 22 to a 12 (a shrinking 12 at that!), and I still see the same girl that I was. Ok, maybe not totally the same girl, but relatively close. There are some things that my mind just hasn’t soaked up yet. We were at Gay Bingo on Saturday night, which incidentally may make for a GREAT bachelorette party activity, and a woman who was seated at our table had to be at least 100 pounds more than me, but when I looked at her all I could see were our similarities. Meanwhile the woman next to her was more like the size that I am now, but I just can’t seem to marinate the new image into my brain!

Am I crazy? No, of course not. I knew that my head would take a good amount of time to catch up. This is called body dysmorphic disorder, similar to what people obsessed with plastic surgery deal with, and is common after GBP surgery. Clearly 29 years of being overweight has skewed my vision, so I know it will take some time for everything to shake out. But now I worry, six months away from picking out a wedding gown, will I see myself as I am or as I was? Will I get frustrated with a process that is already stressful because of my mental struggle and somehow forfeit the joyous occasion that selecting a gown can be? Where’s my Say Yes to The Dress moment, damn it?!

Ok, maybe I’m getting a little hostile. I have 6 months for my head to catch up for gown shopping, and a little over a year to make mental amends so that I can see myself as beautiful on my wedding day. I’m working hard to stay positive. What were some ways that you handled body image issues when getting married? What did you do to calm the regular bridal nerves that are concerned with looking phenomenal on your wedding day?

To combat all of this, I’m going to start seeing a therapist so I can hopefully facilitate a quick reunion between what I see and what exists. I’ll let you know how it goes. 🙂

Thanks for reading. – A

 

January 17, 2011. Tags: , , , . 2011. 1 comment.

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