Let the Royal Wedding Merchandising Begin!

We all knew that the wedding of the decade would have merchandise. But then M and I decided t-shirts were tacky! *badum dum*

Truly though, the royal wedding of Prince William of Whales and Kate Middleton is going to be bigger to British merchandise sales than those tacky Union Jack stovepipe hats. What we didn’t know was that apparently they’re getting really tasteless really early with what they’re selling. A company called Crown Jewels Condoms is promoting a line of  prophylactics commemorating the blessed nuptials. Check out more about this interesting little marketing coup here.

Let’s hope they at least make you feel like a queen! 😉

Thanks for reading! – A


February 8, 2011. Tags: , , . 2011. 1 comment.

What Length Would You Go To Be A Perfect Bride?

Have you seen this show, Bridalplasty? As the name suggests, it features brides who are interested in plastic surgery before their big day. These women compete in various wedding-related challenges to win surgeries and the opportunity to be the last bride standing who will receive a dream wedding.

When I first heard of the show, I was a bit disgusted. I’m not one for blood and guts, and I wouldn’t want to change myself just to look good on my wedding day. But, my love of TV took over and I soon found myself watching. The one thing I didn’t anticipate was a show full of women who, in many cases, were virtually flawless but still had body issues. Breasts and noses were mostly everyone’s focus, and several women won surgeries and got their problem areas attended to. But the girls were more focused on the wedding at the end, not the surgeries (especially after they’d had one or two nip and tucks).

This got me thinking about the potential of other surgeries. As I said in another post, I’ve had some physical side effects since having surgery that may be life-long. This is not abnormal, and many other side effects would cause GBP patients to seek other surgeries. Top of the list for most people are tucks: tummy, arm and thigh are pretty big. But some people go for the whole shebang and just have a full body tuck. Also, I’ve heard that most women want something done with their breasts after massive weight loss too. Think an orange in a tube sock..yeah, that’s sexy. Not only do many of these surgeries leave scars where extra skin was, but they are often extremely painful and always expensive.

Fellow GBP patient, Star Jones, with extra arm skin.

I knew getting into this that there would be potential for follow-up surgeries. But I was more concerned with immediate follow-up surgeries, like needing to have to go back in to alter the new stomach or something. I couldn’t fathom needing or   surgery. But now, having seen Bridalplasty and lost 85 pounds, I wonder what my arms would look like if that extra skin was taken off. I wonder if the 8-12 inch scar would be worth it. Would the money spent on the surgery pay for itself in quality of life, and if so, should I figure out a way to do this before my wedding? Even if I could afford it, the only surgery I could do now would be my arms because I’m sure my tummy and breasts will go to pot when I get pregnant in a few years.

Anyway, these brides seem pretty happy with their decisions. Maybe I’ll check into things and see if I can financially handle getting my arms done before the wedding. If I can and there will be enough time to get it and have appropriate recovery time after I’ve reached the 18 month post-op mark, I’ll consider things and potentially wave my bat wings goodbye in time for the wedding since it’s something I see myself getting done in the next 5 years anyway. I’ve sent a few emails to local surgeons, so I’ll let you know where things end up. Maybe I’ll be the perfect bride after all. 🙂

Thanks for reading! – A

February 7, 2011. Tags: , , . 2011. Leave a comment.

Weight Loss is a Pain in the Ass!

No, really – it is literally a pain in my ass. I have lost so much weight that apparently my tailbone is a bit more vulnerable now that I have less, ahem, junk in the trunk to cover it. This seems to be a common issue for GBP patients and the only tried and true solutions are sitting on pillows and surgery. Another surgery – who wants that?? But then again, I’m not truly interested in my keister hurting and ultimately going numb in each and every restaurant booth I sit in.

The Ladies ManYes, I understand this may be too much information for some of you but I’m trying to keep an accurate diary of this time in my life, even if it includes info about my derierre. And sidebar, it still looks like someone stuffed two fine hams down the back of my dress, they’re just smaller hams. (Do I need to site The Ladies Man on a blog? 🙂 )

So what’s a bootylicious babe to do? I will hopefully build up some more muscle mass as I Zumba my life away to add a little extra padding for my poor little butt bone, but until that happens please don’t laugh if you see me carrying a cushion like a little old lady! Let’s hope the $4 travel pillow from Walgreens that is perfectly sized for my badunkadunk (or what’s left of it) goes the distance on the trip to Boston tomorrow.

With that, I’ll say Happy New Year. Hope 2011 won’t be such a pain in the tuchus. 🙂  -A

December 30, 2010. Tags: , , . 2010. 2 comments.