My bridesmaids were an easy selection for me. It seemed to us that it was only fitting to have family and very close friends stand next to us on our big day. I have two biological sisters so as to not have either of them fight, my best friend, who is like a sister to me, will be my maid of honor and they will be bridesmaids. To round things out nicely M’s sister, my future sister-in-law, will also be one of my maids.
But I have lots of other sisters. In college I joined a sorority. Now I know you may be thinking all of the stereotypical things about “buying” friends and wild frat parties. Don’t get me wrong, there were frat parties. But there was also this unspeakable bond that I made with many girls who are wonderful women.
I saw several of these women recently. One of my sisters, L, tragically lost her infant son. He was just over two months old when he passed. As we gathered at the wake, she held us with the strongest hugs I’ve ever had and told us how much it meant that we were there for her. She wore her sister pin of gold and pearls spelling out our greek letters, as we are to for every major life moment. It pained me to think that the last time she probably wore that pin was for our centennial celebration, or even possibly for her wedding 3 years ago.
At the funeral the next day a few other sisters joined us. I watched one run to L and they embraced and cried, one of the few times I saw L actually allow herself to feel the weight of the day. Her mother said to us that though there were lots of people around now that it would be when things calmed down that she would need us the most. Would we be there? I answered without hesitation that I would be there, day or night. We all did. As one of our songs lyrics state, “From Atlantic to Pacific, Sisters, we all stand.” Wherever we are, sisterhood binds us.
It pains my heart to imagine what L is experiencing. Several other sisters were very torn up at the services because they, as mothers, couldn’t bear the thought. It didn’t really hit me until this morning as I was putting on my makeup to go to work – work in a children’s hospital where parents are told every day that their child has become an angel. I broke down at the thought that my beautiful sister had to be told that. I wept for her because sisters share in each other’s joys and sorrows, but also because I wanted so desperately to help her. Then I cried because I couldn’t. The only thing I can do is continue to be a good sister, blood or not, and to show her how much love I have for her.
After I pulled myself together I started thinking about my sister pin. It had fallen off of my sweater years ago during a ceremony, as they often did because they are so front heavy that the back clasp comes loose with the weight of the pearls and gold. I remember being so sad and searching the sorority house high and low for it. These letters, those pearls..I earned every one of them as I earned my membership into the sisterhood. What’s more, I earned the rights for my sisters, daughters and nieces to join me in sorority sisterhood as well, if they chose to accept the legacy. I’ve since decided to contact our national organization and request a replacement pin, specifically to wear at my wedding, but also to have when other life events come along. It’s so unfortunate that such a sad, sad event happened, but it made me realize that my sisters, all of my sisters, mean the world to me. And even if they can’t be there when I say I do, they will be in my heart, and pinned to my dress.
If you would like to donate to help my sister L and her husband with the medical expenses incurred helping their poor sweet baby fight for his life, please click here. Every little bit helps so much, and any funds in excess of their bills will be donated to charity. LML to my beautiful sister and her husband. ❤
Thanks for reading. – A