Planning an Interfaith Wedding: The Ceremony

Crafting. I’ve been super busy with it lately, but I’ve stepped it up even more because I’m thinking about getting a part-time job to help finance this shindig and am worried that I won’t have enough time to add all those thoughtful touches if I don’t knock them out while I have the time. That being said, I’ve been doing a lot of pre-crafting so that when the time comes for some of this stuff that is time sensitive (like programs and place cards) a lot of the heavy-lifting (read: tedious details) will have been done.

Today I set off on tentatively designing a program since work has calmed down a little and I remembered that I have some super cute custom (and free!) monograms and crests from As I’m pulling this together, I get to the page where I have to list the order of the proceedings and it made me stop. I get down the aisle, but then what? What do we say? What do we do? Typically there are vows and I do’s. There’s a kiss. But isn’t M Jewish? What about the wine, and don’t they break a glass at some point?

I began furiously googling the specifics of the Jewish wedding. I was raised Christian, and we are getting married in our Unitarian Universalist church, so there’s 3 religions right there. Can we fit them all in? And what do we WANT to fit in? I knew that although we plan to continue attending the UU church and that we plan to raise our kids there, we want them to know the major principals of both the religions we were raised with. I know that I want my kids to respect the tradition and heritage or religion, especially when it comes to M’s Judaism. It became a little clearer that we wanted to include many of the Jewish wedding traditions so that our children would know that we upheld specific traditions by choice because they were what meant most to us. Now for the messy part – figuring out HOW to include this stuff.

I took to facebook and asked my friends what they thought on some of my ideas, particularly reordering a few things so that M would NOT see me before the walk down the aisle, something that typically doesn’t happen in Christian weddings but does in Jewish ones. Their general consensus was this: do what you want. Nobody thinks that we’ll be stepping on toes or dishonoring the traditions. M even commented that he thought his mother would be pleased that I am so open to including so much Jewish ceremony.

Once I accepted the fact that God (or my future mother-in-law) wasn’t going to strike me down for switching some things up, the program went much smoother. I still need to put in some notes to explain some of the traditions to guests, but things are looking up. Now if I can only find a place that will sell me a gross of yarmulkes for under $40. Oh we go. And no, our kitties will not be decked out in yarmulkes!

Thanks for reading! – A

March 30, 2011. Tags: , , , , , . 2011. Leave a comment.