My bridesmaids were an easy selection for me. It seemed to us that it was only fitting to have family and very close friends stand next to us on our big day. I have two biological sisters so as to not have either of them fight, my best friend, who is like a sister to me, will be my maid of honor and they will be bridesmaids. To round things out nicely M’s sister, my future sister-in-law, will also be one of my maids.
But I have lots of other sisters. In college I joined a sorority. Now I know you may be thinking all of the stereotypical things about “buying” friends and wild frat parties. Don’t get me wrong, there were frat parties. But there was also this unspeakable bond that I made with many girls who are wonderful women.
I saw several of these women recently. One of my sisters, L, tragically lost her infant son. He was just over two months old when he passed. As we gathered at the wake, she held us with the strongest hugs I’ve ever had and told us how much it meant that we were there for her. She wore her sister pin of gold and pearls spelling out our greek letters, as we are to for every major life moment. It pained me to think that the last time she probably wore that pin was for our centennial celebration, or even possibly for her wedding 3 years ago.
At the funeral the next day a few other sisters joined us. I watched one run to L and they embraced and cried, one of the few times I saw L actually allow herself to feel the weight of the day. Her mother said to us that though there were lots of people around now that it would be when things calmed down that she would need us the most. Would we be there? I answered without hesitation that I would be there, day or night. We all did. As one of our songs lyrics state, “From Atlantic to Pacific, Sisters, we all stand.” Wherever we are, sisterhood binds us.
It pains my heart to imagine what L is experiencing. Several other sisters were very torn up at the services because they, as mothers, couldn’t bear the thought. It didn’t really hit me until this morning as I was putting on my makeup to go to work – work in a children’s hospital where parents are told every day that their child has become an angel. I broke down at the thought that my beautiful sister had to be told that. I wept for her because sisters share in each other’s joys and sorrows, but also because I wanted so desperately to help her. Then I cried because I couldn’t. The only thing I can do is continue to be a good sister, blood or not, and to show her how much love I have for her.
After I pulled myself together I started thinking about my sister pin. It had fallen off of my sweater years ago during a ceremony, as they often did because they are so front heavy that the back clasp comes loose with the weight of the pearls and gold. I remember being so sad and searching the sorority house high and low for it. These letters, those pearls..I earned every one of them as I earned my membership into the sisterhood. What’s more, I earned the rights for my sisters, daughters and nieces to join me in sorority sisterhood as well, if they chose to accept the legacy. I’ve since decided to contact our national organization and request a replacement pin, specifically to wear at my wedding, but also to have when other life events come along. It’s so unfortunate that such a sad, sad event happened, but it made me realize that my sisters, all of my sisters, mean the world to me. And even if they can’t be there when I say I do, they will be in my heart, and pinned to my dress.
If you would like to donate to help my sister L and her husband with the medical expenses incurred helping their poor sweet baby fight for his life, please click here. Every little bit helps so much, and any funds in excess of their bills will be donated to charity. LML to my beautiful sister and her husband. ❤
Thanks for reading. – A
I can’t wait to be married. Here are some reasons why:
1. Wedding savings plans will cease to exist and allow me to live on a little more than Top Ramen.
2. M. will stop asking me to apply to wedding shows to win us stuff.
3. I’d like to give in to my biological clock.
Ok, that last one is a doosey. But I can’t help it! This morning I saw my younger sister give birth to her second child. I was also there for the birth of her first. Seeing that amazing, miraculous act was and is so phenomenal. It makes me feel that much more strongly about bringing a piece of M and I into the world. But, I want to do it the “right” way to please my family – hell, to please ME – because I’ve gone almost 3o years without getting knocked up and I owe it to myself to get married before I make a baby. And btw, there’s nothing wrong with it if you do it the other way, I’m just trying to keep it old school for my grandmother. It’s tough, but I can work it out for the next year or two.
So until I get married and attempt to wait a year before trying to get preggers, I will refrain from smelling that new baby smell that is wafting at me from my nephew. I will also refrain from noticing how cute this pic of my niece seeing her baby brother for the first time is. Here’s hoping I can make it before I succumb to my hormones!
Thanks for reading! – A
“Be at war with your vices; at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.”
Philadelphian Ben Franklin said the quote above. I found it really fitting because this past year has really meant a lot to me and I’m finding myself a better woman.
Yesterday was our one-year anniversary. Because of the wedding, we knew we didn’t want to have a big to-do in order to save money. We planned on a nice little dinner at El Vez and a movie for the evening, so I had a lot of time in the morning to run errands and go to the gym. We agreed that we wouldn’t get each other gifts, but when I got home around noon I opened the refrigerator to find this, a box of chocolate-covered strawberries. What a sweetheart!
After we had dinner, we were walking back to the car and decided to share a gelato (mmmm pistachio and dark chocolate so dark it was black!) at Capagiro. We walked and laughed and ate that gelato all the way to this cute little shop down the block called Open House. The window had lots of super adorable Philly stuff, and since we’re having a very Philadelphia wedding we popped in. This store was SO incredible, packed with tons of cute things. I told Mike we should just get married there to save on decor costs.
Then I wandered into their 50% off section. They had so much cute stuff that was coming out of season, and also damaged things. I didn’t intend to go there, but there was this adorable baby bib. It’s velcro closure had a manufacturer error and was missing one of the two sides needed for the closure (an easy fix), but it was otherwise perfect and had a super cute Philadelphia theme. M mentioned that perhaps it might be bad luck to buy something so soon, but we were too sweet on the idea that on our anniversary we bought the first thing we ever would for our eventual baby (even though we’re like a solid 3 years from needing it) and since it was half off we couldn’t pass up the bargain. Now I’m the proud owner of a bib for a child that is a mere glimmer in our eyes.
Last year, I thought going on a date with this guy would mean that we would have some drinks and maybe laugh a little bit. And we did that. But then he kissed me, and was then and there qualified for a second date. And then a third. And then a fourth. And now, my life is totally different. I am so thankful for everything that brought me to this man, to this life, to this day. Maybe you can call it a late new year’s resolution, but I think it’s more of a promise: This year, I will remember to enjoy every moment I have with M and will continue to strive to be a better person for him and our future. Besides, it will be good practice being a good example for whoever will wear that bib someday. 🙂
And if you read this, here’s to you honey. Mosquito. ❤
Thanks for reading. – A